Ego IS a dirty word

We all know people with big egos. We all recognise them – they are the people who love to tell us what they have done, what their title is, who they know and how many qualifications/certifications they possess.  They have a way of making you feel smaller than you are and if they have a really big ego, and they feel threatened by you, they will do all they can to undermine you.

Here’s what I have come to believe about ego –

1. Ego masks fear

2. Ego takes a lot of effort to maintain

3. Ego is a dirty word

So, how do you interact with someone who is driven by ego?  Firstly, you need to believe in yourself and know who you are, then you need to understand that the ego is hiding a lack of self-esteem and finally you need to, very carefully, let them know that you are not buying into their egocentric ways.

I think that the key to understanding any relationship where things feel uncomfortable is to first ask yourself “How much of this do I own?”  If the answer is “very little” then you can safely say that the behaviour belongs to the other person and does not impact on who you are but rather, says a lot about them.

Ego – its ugly.

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. David Bentley
    Jun 08, 2013 @ 08:01:42

    Great post. You are so right. Too many people and worse- people who by some cosmic mistake hold leadership positions are utterly clueless when it comes to the effect their behaviour has on others. A leader must be particularly mindful as everything they say and do with reference to their teams has the added weight of coming ‘downhill’. The worst kind are those who loudly claim to have education or ‘certification’ in human interaction skills when their every action clearly demonstrates that they do not. I have even heard of one individual who claims to have ‘certification in EQ’ (the emotional intelligence concept popularised by Daniel Goleman). The irony, as you will know, is that EQ is essentially emotional maturity and if you are emotionally mature, the last thing you would go around doing is proclaiming yourself to be so. People with high EQ are mindful of others and work to develop relationships and strengths not tear people down… Boggles the mind…

    Reply

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