Taking it like a man

My partner David said early on in our relationship, “you’ve got a lot of boy in you”.  He meant that I have a lot of typically male characteristics and he likes that part of me!

Recently the “male” part of me was put to the test.  David and I have swapped roles this year – David has left his big, well paid, full-time job to take up 3 casual roles while I have done the exact opposite.  We are both still adjusting to the change and it has been more challenging that I had anticipated.  I’ve found that I am having trouble transitioning from “work Judy” to “home Judy”.  I mince around at work all day, solving problems, being social, making a difference and then I come home to pick Bella’s clothes off the floor and tidy the kitchen!

David and I sat down last night to discuss how we were both feeling about this.  I was amazed when David suggested that I was experiencing what men experience when they come home after a day at work.  Typically, David would spend his day at work solving problems, building relationships with sheiks in the Middle East and being the man.  Then he would come home to me asking for the rubbish to be emptied!

What is the solution, I wondered.  David reminded me that each afternoon when he left work he would ring and ask me if we needed anything at the shop.  I wondered why he did this as we rarely needed anything.  Apparently this was David’s way of transitioning from work to home.  The visit to the shop helped him move from “work David” to “home David”

I’m not surprised that this works as my favourite change model by William Bridges suggests that between the old and the new you need to go through a transition phase.  When I return to work after the holiday break I will make sure that I use a transition between work and home.  I’ll let you know how I go…


4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Andrea
    Apr 24, 2011 @ 08:25:53

    sounds interesting.
    It is hard doing the transition sometimes, especially when you are tired and had a more difficult day. Its easy to bring the stresses of the day home to your family that doesnt deserve your troubled mood.
    Let us know how you go and any tips you can give.


  2. heather
    Apr 26, 2011 @ 10:01:49

    Good luck Jude, look forward to hearing how it all goes


  3. Rachel
    May 01, 2011 @ 07:43:50

    It is so good that David and you can pause and discuss this stuff thoughtfully. I definitely recognise the feeling of ‘Why aren’t you treating me like I am important’ – not a good look!


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